雅思G类 作文道歉信 请大家看看这份作文答案能拿多少分？

题目：
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
You have a full time job and are also doing a part time evening course. You now find that you can not continue the course.Write a letter to your tutor. In your letter
describe the situation
explain why you cannot continue at this time
say what action you would like to take
Write at least 150 words.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ................. ,
model answer:
解答：
Dear professor,
My name is Dave,I'm studying in Art Media in your course.I 'm devotion to the lesson and having a hard time keeping up with this curriculum.
But now I have a problem and I can't continue the part time evening course.
Last night I got a letter from the company which I apply for entry before.I have passed the test and they will hire me.It means I have to work from day to night and I have no time to go back to your class to have the lesson.
I'm sorry to miss your course.I hope you can understand the important of this job for me and I'm always eager to join this company to release my dream.And I'm absolutely plan to participate in your course in my spare time.This is an indispensable mission in my mind.I will call you when I had made the decision.So, please accept my situation.
Sincerely
Dave
154字数

评分我不会，但是一下些许需要提出：
1. 格式我没看出来 （比如齐头式的话每一段都顶格写，然后每一段空一行，称呼和正文之间也应该空一行，最后的sincerely和正文以及和Dave之间也要空一行，Sincerely 后面家逗号）
2. 中间句式较为单一，还有一些词性（如importance）或者单词(realize)的误用，以及固定搭配的误用 But now……that……
以上意见仅供参考。
3. 用词及造句均低于大学英语四级水平。

6.5分差不多。

最多6分的水平，而且小作文占作文总分比重不大

你好！ 5-5.5,甚至更低，我没有看完，但是原因很简单，你偏题了。原题是说你有份全职工作，同时在上夜校，但是你发现你现在没法去参加夜校了，可能是时间太紧张、可能是你工作压力比较大etc，但是绝不是你之前申请了个工作现在拿到offer了。 期望对你有所帮助，如果有雅思写作批改的需要，可以去我的淘宝“易道留学咨询”逛逛~虽然专做A类，但是G类也是一样思路的嘛 仅代表个人观点，不喜勿喷，谢谢。

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