寻求英文笑话

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解决时间 2021-04-28 11:14

提问者网友：爱唱彩虹
2021-04-27 13:52

要通俗易懂，搞笑一点的，最好附中文解释。

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五星知识达人网友：人類模型
2021-04-27 14:34

A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'

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1楼网友：蓝房子
2021-04-27 18:15

一个醉酒司机和交警的搞笑对话 A driver is stopped by a police officer. The driver asks, "What’ s the problem officer?" Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone." Man: "No sir, I was going 65." Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80." (The man gives his wife a dirty look.) Officer: "I’ m also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light." Man: "Broken tail light? I didn’ t know about a broken tail light!" Wife: "Oh Harry, you’ ve known about that tail light for weeks." (The man gives his wife another dirty look.) Officer: "I’ m also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seatbelt." Man: "Oh I just took it off when you were walking up to the car." Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seatbelt." The man turns to his wife and yells, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" The Officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma’ am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?" The wife says, "No, only when he’s drunk." 还有更多的英语笑话哦摘自 http://www.xhh.cc/xiaohua/yingyuxiaohua/647.html

2楼网友：雪起风沙痕
2021-04-27 17:00

今天我正在看碟，老妈又捧了本书进来，说道：给我讲讲这几句话什么意思 ] 老妈：这个“i don’t know.“是什么意思？我说：“我不知道” 老妈：送你上大学上了几年，你怎么什么都不知道！！我说：不是！就是“我不知道”吗！！老妈：还嘴硬！！！！（一顿爆揍) 老妈：你在给我说说这个。“i know.“是什么意思你该知道吧，给我说说。我说：是“我知道“ 老妈：知道就快说。我说：就是“我知道“ 老妈：找茬呀你？刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不？我说：就是我知道呀！老妈：知道你还不说！！不懂不要装懂(又一顿爆揍) 老妈：你给我小心点，花那么多钱送你上大学，搞的现在什么都不会，会那么一丁点东西还跟老娘摆谱，再问你最后一个，你给我好好解释一下，说不出来我在收拾你，你给我翻译一下“i know but idon’t want to tell you.”是什么意思？我晕倒，拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下，用头撞墙四十多下，双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下，用腿踢桌子角六十多下，血肉模糊之时，我问老妈：这下你满意吧这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,i`m very annoyance,don`t tuouble me.是什么意思啊~?“ 我:“我很烦,别烦我“ ; 老妈:“找打,跟你妈这么说话“(于是被扁) 老妈又问;“i hear nothing,repeat.是what意思啊“ 我说:“我没听清,再说一次“ 老妈又说了一遍:i hear nothing,repeat“ “我没听清,再说一次“ 结果被扁老妈再问:“what do you say“又怎么解释呢“ 我说:“你说什么“(再次被扁) 老妈再问:“look up in the dictionary“是何意啊’ 我说:“查字典“ “查字典我还问你做甚“(被扁) 老妈又问:you had better ask somebody.怎么翻呢“ 我说:“你最好问别人“ “你是我儿子,我问别人干吗,又找打.“ “啊!god save me!“ “耍你老妈玩,上帝也救不了你!(被扁) 我再问你:“use you head,then thin kit over,又是什么意思啊!“ 我说:“动动脑子,再仔细想想.“ “臭小子,还敢耍我“接着又要动手我连忙说:“是世上只有妈妈好的意思” “嗯,这还差不多,一会我给你做好吃的,明天再问你”

3楼网友：我住北渡口
2021-04-27 15:25

1>ＥＮＧＬＩＳＨ：The Looney Bin (疯人院)

Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院）one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"

　　Another one said, "How do you know?"

　　The first inmate said, "God told me!"

　　Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

　　普通话　：疯人院

　　一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说："我是拿破仑！"另一个说："你怎么知道？"第一个人说："上帝对我说的！"一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来："我没说！"

浙江临海话　说法：疯宁院

　一给慢上，在疯宁院里，一古病宁港：我在拿破轮！另一古港：你将声晓得？第一古拧港：上帝大我港的！＂一枪过了，一古心音从另一古喔里传出：我尼港过！！

v 广东话:

有呀满, 海精神病云垒面, 呀果病然哇:" 哦海拿破仑!" 另呀果哇:" 馁点知嘎?" 带呀果哇:" 上带哇哦知嘎!" 呀阵干, 呀把声海另呀果房裙来: " 哦母港过!"

客家话:疯人院

有一铺夜,特疯人院拖,有一只病人港:"爱系拿破仑!"另一只港:"泥那行地?"第一只人港:"上帝闹爱港概!"等利一下,有一只声特匹只间传来,爱冇港!"

2>　A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father mouse jumped and said:'Bow-wow"! The cat ran away."What was that,father?" asked baby mouse."Well ,son,that's why it's important to learn a second language."

一家老鼠被一只大猫吓坏了, 老鼠爸爸跳起来,叫到"汪~汪"! 猫吓跑了, " 怎么样了,爸爸?" 小老鼠问道, " 嗯,儿子,你现在知道了,学习一门外语是多么的重要啊"

呀逗楼许被呀责带猫咳衬, 楼许爸爸淡嘿来,大叫"汪~汪". 这猫哈枣左. "点啊? 老逗?" 楼许仔闷. "嗯,阿仔, 累依嘎兹都,货杂一门(oie)语害给甘重要啦"

one monkey pick up one card in the street, but it want to know what kinds of card it was? then the monkey climb into a branch to see, suddenly, the thunder hit it at that time. the monkey cried that: wow, it was a IP card?

猴子拣到一个卡，它想看清楚是啥卡，就爬到树枝上看，这时一个雷击中了它。猴子哭着说：原来是IP卡啊！

方言：　猴子捡大一杂卡，想看哈到底是么子卡，爬到树垮尖上看，恰好一杂雷打到它身上，猴子哭起来哭：　原来是ＩＰ卡啊：

哈哈，方言都不说不习惯了

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